Skip to main content

How To Heal Your Burned Out Self

This blog was taken from Author Shelli Johnson's blog

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman, civil rights leader

Well, I came across that quote the day before I left for vacation. First off, if you like water, sand, and the sound of waves, the beach will go a long way toward healing your burned-out self. It’s been a rough year for me. I won’t go into all the details; suffice it to say that I hope I don’t ever have to go through a year like that again. So by the time I got to the beach, emotionally and spiritually I felt a bit battered and bruised. I spent the week thinking about that quote. Being a journalist, I started asking myself questions, a kind of self-interview. You can do the same. Here’s what I came up with:

Where I had coffee every morning.
Who are you living and doing and making choices for? Is it for you?Sadly, for me at least, the answer is often for other people (kids, spouse, relatives, friends, strangers even), which doesn’t leave me fired up about my life. Look, I know you need to think about others. Everybody drills that into you from the time you’re a little kid. But if helping everyone else at the expense of yourself makes you feel dead inside: 1. how are you gonna be able to help anybody else? and 2. what kind of life is that?
What matters most to you (not what someone else would like for your life)? What do you most want to be doing with your life? What is your heart telling you? If you get quiet, I guarantee you, it’s saying something. And then the question becomes: Are you going to listen? What’s keeping you from that (hint: what’s your biggest fear)?
When are you going to look at your life as yours & give yourself permission to be who you want to be, to do what you want to do? When will you realize that your life is passing you by as you wait for the “right time”? Hint: The “right time” is right now. When will you choose faith over fear?
Where do you need to be to pursue your passion? Where do you feel alive? Do you love coming home? Do you love your work space? If not, why not? What do you need to do to change how you feel? I ask these questions because I made a choice once to live in a place where I ended up being miserable. It’s hard to feel alive and creative when you’re unhappy just being where you are.
Why does this even matter? Because I believe that Thurman was right: the world needs people who have come alive. Feeling alive and excited about your life makes you generous and happy and motivated. It inspires the people around you to do/be the same. It also matters because I don’t think you’ll want to get to the end of your life and say, “Whew, I’m glad I risked so little.” I dunno, maybe you will; I hope not to.

Another view from our rented beach house.
Your heart knows quite clearly what it is that makes you feel alive. But it’s also very hard to hear when you’re in a battered and burned-out state. So slow down. Slow way down.Take as much off your plate as you can. Put yourself at the top of your to-do list. Then get quiet. Very quiet.Be open and listen. The answers are there.
I also came across this these lines (which I love) by the 13th-century poet Rumi, who wrote:
Let yourself be silently drawnby the stronger pull of what you really love.
Are you living a life that makes you feel fully alive? If not, why not? And more importantly, what are you going to do about it? Please feel free to share your thoughts & experiences in the comment box below.

Follow me @Shelli_Johnson
To find me on Facebook, just click here.
To find me on Google+, just click here.
To connect with me on Goodreads, just click here.


  1. I'm in the process of re-assessing all of those things right now, so thanks for making it clear for me. Occasionally it's necessary for all of us to downsize, get rid of the things that no longer serve us, and focus in on the basics of what keep us happy, healthy, and sane.

  2. Hi All! *waves*

    Thanks so much for the fab compliment, Stephanie. You're welcome, C.G. I love this, PJ: "get rid of the things that no longer serve us." I've found myself asking the question, Is this bringing me joy?, when I'm deciding what to keep & what to get rid of. Thanks, Tonya, for having me on your blog.


  3. LOVE sweet Shelli and her views on the world and living life. Shelli is a truly generous and talented author :)

    xx, Lauren

    1. Awww, Lauren, you are fabulous, darlin, not only as a writer but as a person, too. You know that, right? Thank you so much for the kind words. You made my day. :)

  4. I couldn't agree more with this. I have five kids and four grandkids and they all make demands on my time and attention. I recently moved to a house I cannot settle in, against my better judgement, and I am very unhappy here. My job is stressful and I come home tired every night. I value my weekends to write but then the kids turn up or they ask me to babysit...I think maybe turning fifty next year has something to do with it but I finally decided things had to change. I've made the decision to leave the marital home and am saving up to find a place of my own in an area I feel happiest in and when I get one I'm going to make it clear to my family that my Sundays, at least, are off limits. My time is going to be managed better and I am going to take better care of myself and do what makes me happy after thirty three years of putting husband and children first. Scary but it's come to the point where I know it's something I have to do. Thanks for posting this...don't feel so crazy or selfish now :)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dependable, Smart, and Caring!

Great Escapes Blog Tour for Ax to Grind by Tonya Kappes
Ax To Grind (A Kenni Lowry Mystery)by Tonya Kappes Ax To Grind (A Kenni Lowry Mystery) Cozy Mystery3rd in SeriesHenery Press (September 19, 2017) Paperback: 256 pages ISBN-13: 978-1635112474 E-Book ASIN: B0731M7RRM Southerners keep their secrets swept under the rug, but what happens when that rug goes up for sale? Bestselling author Berlye Stone, the most famous citizen to ever come out of Cottonwood, Kentucky, has died and put all her worldly possessions up for auction, but not without leaving one more manuscript behind. A hidden tell-all about Cottonwood that’s got more gossip than a ladies’ luncheon. When Beryle’s assistant turns up with an ax in her back and the only witness is in a coma, Sheriff Kenni Lowry reckons someone in town will do anything to keep the manuscript from seeing the light of day. Her poppa’s ghost returns to help piece together the life of the Beryle he once knew, but his memory’s a little foggy, and any misst…

Two Dames on a Mystery Train

The 2017 Two Dames on a Mystery Train started off with a fun ghost walk through the town of Lockport, NY. 
Be sure to check back for more fun train photos and check out the website!

Happy Release Day!


FRESHLY GROUND MURDER, book 3 in the Killer Coffee Mystery Series is RELEASED!


Click here!

The holidays have arrived, and nothing is going to steal the joy of Roxanne Bloom’s first Christmas in Honey Springs.

The town’s annual Christmas in the Park is underway and includes a Christmas Pawrade that’ll help the furry residents at Pet Palace get a home for Christmas. It’s not the four-legged creatures that steal the show, it’s the pair of legs sticking out from the Christmas tree lighting ceremony that has all the town talking. 

The suspects are piling up faster than the falling snow, while a murderer is on the loose. Roxy can’t let this ruin her first Christmas in Honey Springs and soon realizes it’s the ghosts of Christmas past that holds the real clues. But can she get this mystery solved in time for the holidays?

Includes Holiday Recipes from The Bean Hive!