Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Ten Things You Should Know About Writers




Ten Things You Should Know About Writers

1. We aren’t eavesdropping. Linguistic training is a part of our job. We listen to speech patterns so we can effectively write dialogue beats.

2. Yes. We do have to check Twitter, Facebook and Seekerville hourly. It is essential to stay up to date on the ever changing publishing world.

3. It is normal for writers to speak in the third person present tense. Deal with it.

4. Don’t ask if we’re published yet. Or if we’ve published anything you might have read. Trust me, it only makes us cranky.

5. As a general rule, writers are not interested in your brilliant idea for a best-seller that we can write for you and then split the profits.

6. We believe there are dumb questions. Where do you get your ideas is right up there at the top.

7. Our favorite words are not The End, they are, I want to buy your book.

8. For every ten words we write we delete six. We get goosebumps when we write the perfect sentence.

9. We are unable to watch a film with out analyzing the plot elements per the Heroes Journey. (Ordinary World, Call to Adventure, Refusal of the Call…)

10. If you see us sitting in front of the computer/laptop staring at a blank screen for long periods of time without moving, we are still writing. Do not interrupt.

Can you think of any more?

43 comments:

  1. -Yes writing is an actual career and no I don't have a "back-up"

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so funny. Yes, I have another...

    Just because I blow things up or write a particular sexy scene it does not mean you have the right to quiz my husband about 1) if he thinks I'm actually dangerous/scary; 2) our sex life; 3)whether or not I can actually make a bomb.

    Grins.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very funny :)Another one: Just because we work from home doesn't mean we're always available to volunteer for kids' school activities.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMGosh, that's a great one, Toni!! SO true.

    (Or accept packages all the time, or let your contractor in every morning...Grins. I've not been asked but I have a friend who works from home who's been asked to do both of those things)

    ReplyDelete
  5. So true. So funny. Especially #10. Thanks for this!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Fabulous. Wring is always on our minds no matter what we appear to be doing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOL, Christine that is a great one!! I LOVE the look on people's face when I say that!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. HAHaa! Jeanne! I LOVE THAT!! YES! People ask my DH all the time about the sex scenes. Cracks me up!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Toni! That's a great one too!!!! RIGHT!? I have four boys and their teachers were always giving me the "eye."

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anne, I've trained my family to not even ask a question when I'm starring. They know that something is playing in my head:) Isn't it funny how we "get these?"

    ReplyDelete
  11. Number 10 is brilliant. Okay, they are all brilliant. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Any writer with a fallback plan is not a writer...

    this is a life, not a job.

    ReplyDelete
  13. If your dear friend is a writer, don't ask her to provide you with free copies of her books. Just buy the books. Authors don't get an infinite supply of our own work; we have to buy copies just like you do.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I laugh and cry to my own writing. And no, I don't have a mental illness (yet).

    I can't edit your resume/letter/college paper. I have plenty of my own editing to do.

    Sometimes, I don't recognize my own writing, it's that special of an experience.

    Just because a magazine has large holes in it from where I cut out pictures, DOES NOT MEAN IT'S TRASH!

    Yes, I have ten different notebook floating around the house and yes, I am using all of them!

    ReplyDelete
  15. When you say 'Wow, a writer? I'm going to buy your book as soon as it's out, we think 'I'll believe it when I see it'.

    Great post :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. This. is. awesome. Thank you!

    #6 reminds me of a section from one of my 1 Act plays:

    Derrick: Where do you get your story ideas?
    Annie: From the Writers Guild Idea Grab Bag.
    Derrick: The what?
    Annie: I'm afraid I've said too much already. The Guild doesn't look too kindly on non-writers learning our secrets.
    Derrick: You're full of shit.
    Annie: So is that "idea" question.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I LOVE number ten! Someone needs to tell my husband that!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm talking to my characters, not myself.

    Love these all. What fun!

    ReplyDelete
  19. You're talking my language, Tonya, lol! I don't have enough fingers to count how many time #5 has been offered--and tactfully rejected, uh, except for the last one. Consider it the straw that broke down tact. #9 also extends to any books I'm currently reading.

    Sia McKye's Thoughts...OVER COFFEE

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks, Mira! Love seeing you here!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi, Ingrid! I DO love #10!! I tend to stare off in a lot of different places and write an entire scene;)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Cheers!~to that Scott!! I giggle inside when people ask me what my fall back plan is...ummm....KEEP WRITING!

    ReplyDelete
  23. HAHAA!! Elizabeth! I love the notebook one! I so relate to that one!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Donna, I LOVE when people tell me they are going to buy my book and don't. Being indie, I can see my numbers as they happen.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hi, JA! Love seeing you here!! I hope your husband learns this one fast! I had to repeat myself several times: Nothing is wrong. I'm writing...in my head!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Sheila, I do this! I walk around having a conversation taking place between my characters.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh, Sia! I soooo can't hardly watch a movie with out thinking about the heroes journey...ugh!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Melissa said: If your dear friend is a writer, don't ask her to provide you with free copies of her books. Just buy the books. Authors don't get an infinite supply of our own work; we have to buy copies just like you do.

    OH, so true!!! I always go buy my friend's books on "first available" day, and if I'm lucky enough that they do want to give me one of their hard-won author copies, I usually have them just autograph the one I bought and keep the other for promo. :>

    ReplyDelete
  29. OMGosh, Elizabeth Ann, I get that too! You said: I can't edit your resume/letter/college paper. I have plenty of my own editing to do.

    I know a lot of professors, and former Cap. Hill people who have stories to tell. Grins. I gently tell them that editors get paid and give them names of freelance editors I know. :>

    ReplyDelete
  30. Tonya, the funniest "sex scene" one - that wasn't a *rollyoureyes* deal was a guy who came into my DH's office.

    Guy: "Hey. Read your wife's book."
    Husband, staying carefully neutral since this is a guy and a co-worker: "Uh-huh, great. Thanks for buying it."
    Guy: "Want to know what I think?"
    Husband, wary now: "Uh, sure. What did you think?"
    Guy, grinning: "I think you're a lucky, lucky man."

    SNORK!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Love the Hero's Journey stuff and Michael Hauge's stuff. He's coming to the DC area in Nov. Takin' the class again. Always get something.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Jeanne! OMG!! That is so funny!! Our friends ask if my DH loves my research....thank God for my imagination;) I tell them "I wish I was that exciting."

    ReplyDelete
  33. Heehee. I say that too.

    How you do you find writing time with FOUR boys! Yikes. I just have 2 and they run me ragged.

    BTW, One of the other guys where DH works also asked the DH if he slept with one eye open.

    Guy: "I think your wife's got a scary grasp of killin' people."
    DH: "She gets really gleeful when she's knocked off a few people. That's a good writing day to her."
    Guy: "That would worry me..."

    Bwahahahaha!

    Snork!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Your original ten were great and most of these others are terrific also.
    Here's my addition:
    # 21 --- When you interrupt a writer with a question beginning with "This will only take a minute" ... be aware that it's like unplugging a computer. It make take hours to boot back up ... and whatever was on the screen at that previous point is probably lost forever.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Loving reading through these! I think you've pretty much covered it for me!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Loves #9. Learning the hero's journey has changed the way I watch films and read stories.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh for the love of Pete, that is so true!!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I love the last one... how many times do I have to tell them...?!
    Lx

    ReplyDelete
  39. Another one? Writers are not rich! We don't all get six figure advances!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday, what's not to love? You get to dress up as anything you want and get paid in candy for it! Kinda like a confectionary call girl? I dunno... lol but yes I love Halloween!

    ReplyDelete