Happy Friday! Today I'm excited to have mystery writer, Barbara Silkstone on our TENTH day of giveaways! Not only is she a great women's sleuth, she's funny! Be sure to leave a comment to be eligible to win a free ebook copy of her novel, London Broil!
The winner will be announced at the end of tomorrow's blog.
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Marbles in
the Medicine Chest
My second
ex-husband or “Double-X” came equipped with a best friend, Andrew. They were two
peas in a pod. Frick & Frack. Joined at the hip. Andrew owned a chain of
jewelry stores but never spent any time there. He and Double-X would water-ski
eighteen hours a day using my house as a mini Club Med. Double-X and I had been
married less than a year. I was still sensitive to his tender male ego and
worried about making him feel less than manly by forcing him to live in my house on the bay. His friends descended
on Friday and left on Sunday night. I reluctantly welcomed the gypsy troop of
wandering water-skiers, but there was something slightly off with Andrew. At
first I couldn’t put my finger on it.
After a particularly
grueling day of sun and fun, Andrew, the jewelry store mogul, announced he had
become a house painter. He placed ads, ordered business cards, and even bought
himself painters’ jumpsuits for his skinny little body. And soon he had customers.
I was intrigued.
It
was the Sunday before Christmas. Double X, Andrew, and the gypsies were getting
ready to water-ski. I sat next to Andrew on my dock. “Why did you start
painting houses?” I asked. The skinny little toad looked me right in the eye
and said, “People leave me alone in their homes all day while I paint. I like
going through their drawers and closets. I find the most interesting things.”
I shuddered.
Andrew made my skin crawl.
Now his new profession made sense. It always rankled me
whenever Andrew used the potty at my house, he would always wander into the
master bathroom. I’d gently suggest he use the guest bath or the powder room.
It soon became a contest between us. He’d stand as if heading for the bathroom,
and I’d dash to body-block my bedroom door.
Double-X
looked like a storm cloud had settled on his face when I told him what I’d
learned about Andrew’s Paint & Snoop
business. “Andrew’s just joking. He paints walls because he likes the exercise,”
Double X said. I could see this chat was not going to lead to any great
reformation.
I took a
firm stance, “I don’t want Andrew to use our master bedroom bath. He’s snooping
in my private girl stuff. He’s looking
in our medicine chest.”
Double-X
puffed up to twice his size. “Andrew would
never snoop. He would never look
in our medicine chest. You’re paranoid.”
“We’ll see.”
The next
Saturday while Andrew and Double-X were out and about setting up for a water-ski
event to be held at the house, I swung into action. I purchased two bags of
glass marbles…kids’ marbles. I cleared out the medicine chest, and oh so
carefully filled one shelf with both bags of marbles. Shelving marbles is very
challenging work. The technique takes great eye-hand coordination, a skill I
lack. It took me two hours of rabid concentration along with an invention made
of cardboard and two teaspoons. After countless tries, fueled by my desire to
prove Andrew was snooping, I finally loaded the medicine chest with both bags
of marbles.
I placed a
baby monitor on the bathroom counter behind a decorative plant. The speaker end
of the monitor sat on a patio coffee table in the middle of the gypsies’ drinks.
No one noticed it as they sat and sipped, après-ski.
The time
came for Andrew to prowl. He got up and headed to my master bedroom. I faked a
blocking move so he wouldn’t get suspicious, but let him gain access to my
bathroom.
Turning up
the volume on the baby monitor receiver, I sat down with the guests, grinning
like the Cheshire Cat. The sound of piddle, then a flush, called the gypsies to
attention. They looked high, they looked low, and they looked at their drinks.
They scratched their heads. Double-X frowned.
Just as all
eyes zeroed in on the baby monitor speaker, one hundred glass marbles hit the
granite bathroom counter with a confirming clatter.
Never
underestimate a Woman Sleuth. J
Barbara Silkstone is the best-selling author of The Fractured Fairy Tales series that currently includes: The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age
42 and Three-Quarters; Wendy and the
Lost Boys; Zo White and the Seven Morphs, and London Broil. Coming soon: Cold
Case Morphs.
For further
giggles and a touch of true fiction try: The
Adventures of a Love Investigator, 527 Naked Men and One Woman.
Silkstone’s writing has been described as “perfectly paced
and pitched – shades of Janet Evanovich and Carl Hiaasen – without seeming
remotely derivative. Fast moving action that shoots from the hip with
bullet-proof characterization.”
Barbara Silkstone loves to hear from her
readers.
You can write to her at: barbara_silkstone@yahoo.com
Blog: Barbara
Silkstone http://bit.ly/M2Cs7Q
Barbara Silkstone’s Amazon Author’s page
