What Pinterest Means To Me

Happy FRIYAY!!!

Yesterday's blog on journaling really made me think about Pinterest. I'm not sure if you "pin" but I do. In the beginning I used it to create vision boards for each book and a board about things that amused me. I have to admit that some of the 'pins' I was pinning on my amuse me board were not so nice and sometimes pinned with someone in mind *evil grin*
I KNOW! SO WRONG and so not me! In fact, those pins made me a little sad after I would pin one, making Pinterest a not so fun "social tool" for me.

I decided to take back my emotions! I deleted any and all negative pins and only focused on pins that made me smile from joy that bubbled deep in my soul or pins to make other people feel better about themselves. After I changed my attitude toward the pin and used it to feed my soul, other pinners started to follow those happy/joyful/uplifting boards. I have even gotten several messages about how they know they can go to any of my boards and click off feeling better than when they first got on!

Pinterest has kinda become my own way of journaling to the happy place in my life! I love life and I love to PIN!!

Do you pin? I have a public board I 'd love to add you to! Just comment to let me know you pin or not!! LOOK ME UP HERE!! 

The Curse of being CREATIVE

I get emails from aspiring writers daily asking me how did I do it? Or how do I do it? Ira Glass from This American Life, one of my radio favorites, sums it up in a little over a minute!

Tips To Help Get You Through NaNoWriMo

This is the BIG week, and I don't mean Halloween! But that is a GREAT reason to celebrate!!

I'm talking about the 1st of November. Do you know what that means to THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND of authors?

NATIONAL NOVEL WRITING MONTH

NaNoWriMo....

Every year, thousands of writers make a commit to get at least 50k words completed on their manuscript. That comes out to be a little under 1700 words a day.

1700 words? Easy!

Not so much! It's actually harder than you think. But I have some tips that might help get you through. After all, I'm a three time winner, full time mom of three-teenage boys, wife, full time day job, mom to three four-legged creatures, and friend to many, so I might know a few tips to help you out.

1) Tell everyone you interact with that you are participating!

I mean EVERYONE! This way they know that you are so busy with your free time that you don't have time to go to Macy's for that after Thanksgiving day sale. You have to treat this like it's a work project.

Head on over to the NaNoWriMo website and sign up! This is a peer pressure month for writers who are participating and having peers that you can rely on is a great way to make it through!

I have a few local writer friends who do participate and we have a meet at 9 pm meeting at an all night dinner where we hang out and write, write, write. It's great to have the support.

On the home front I have all planned meals. It doesn't take me long to write 1700 words, so I do have some free time, but it sure makes it easier to have the meals planned ahead. If you have a family and obligations like I do, make sure you have a supportive significant other that will run the kids here and there when need be.

2) Manuscript!

This is why you are here! Now....we only have a few days, so you should know your story/plot.  This is really a pansting activity for me, which means that I have a general story line, and characters, but I have no idea where they are going to take me. So I'm not so strict on an outline, but it's great to have an idea of the beginning, middle, and end.

3) Goals!

If you are like me and have other commitments, you have to manage your time! That is the biggest hurdle I have to overcome. I do this by making a daily realistic goal and this includes the weekends. I might make my daily goal 1500 words, but weekends I might do 2k a day. This is an example so I'm not even sure if the math adds up to 50k, but you get the picture.

4) Write, write, write!

You have to be flexible with your attitude. You might be one of those writers who have to edit as you go....DO NOT DO THIS WITH NANOWRIMO!

Write! Get the story on the page. If you have gotten to the end of your story, go back and add a twist. Don't worry if it doesn't flow because you are going to go back and edit anyways. This is the time to just write what your heart desires. You have to freedom! Isn't it great and doesn't it feel good to have that freedom???

5) Use the NaNoWriMo Website!

Go into the forums. Give support to others that are struggling! Take advantage of adding the words you have completed to your word count ticker!

There is nothing more motivating to getting to your goal then seeing that ticker closer and  closer to 50k! It really sings to my muse!

So what do you say? LET'S DO THIS!! Together!! Come on over to NaNoWriMo and friend me! I will support you!!

Find me on Facebook too! I'm going to be posting inspirational photos daily to help get us through it!!

A Writer's Greatest Learning Tool

OBSERVATION is A Writer's Greatest Learning Tool


Train yourself to observe

Whether your a writer, artist, or storyteller in other media, one of the greatest skills you can develop is keen observation. There are many who see, but who lack vision, and there are still others who have vision but lack the ability to constructively communicate that vision to others. If you are to become a good or even great storyeller, you must be able to observe, and observe in detail.

Observing is more than just looking

Ever meet someone who can glance at a scene for a few moments and then tell you a great number of details? Some people do this naturally, but most have developed this ability, deliberately or not, over time. It's one thing to look, it's another to really SEE. One way to develop this ability is to spend some time at an ordinary place and start keeping track of what's going on. An intersection or a bus stop can be useful.At first, keep it simple, like getting a good image of what the place looks like, then start counting how many people/animals/cars pass through. As time goes by, start paying attention to the various details, e.g., appearance of people, the kinds of cars going by, and so on. Over time you will start to notice differences in how people talk, walk, and gesture, types of shoes, etc. It can also help to take a snapshot once every so often, perhaps even from different angles.

If you're an artist, you better carry a sketchpad of some sort with you everywhere you go. You don't have to sit and create the world's greatest life drawing, but it will help to use your sketchbook to train yourself to catch the details and subtleties of movement, mood, lighting, etc. I know of one artist who spent a whole year drawing stick figures to train his figure composition skills to great effect.

Become a people watcher. Try not to be creepy about it, some people won't react well to what they think is some leering perv staring at their every move, and some may like it too much. Start with individuals, just focus on a few details at first, like movement or mannerisms, and soon the other details will become easier to retain and capture.

Watch movies, particularly some of the classics, like the Hitchcock thrillers. Use your pause button and you will find yourself learning a lot about setting a scene, mood, etc just through camera angles, establishing shots, and composition.

What is the sound of a captive audience?

Another, very overlooked aspect of observation training when it comes to comics (and a good deal of other kinds of literature) is listening. It is entirely possible to depict very distinct dialects and 'voices' without making your work look like it was written by someone with very bad grammar and spelling. In some cases bad grammar might be necessary, But it is usually overdone. Don't just listen to sounds, but observe the actions connected to and resulting from those sounds... the way a pickup's bed sways and the cargo rattles as it goes over some rocks, or the way a person flinches when there's a sudden noise. These can be used to create be dstinct, defining scenes that will give your stories more gravity in your reader/viewer's mind.

These principles can be applied to all the senses, and while your readers will probably never smell or taste your work, being conscious of the involvement of all the senses and emotions in the common and every day will better enable you to weave tales that will draw your readers in and capture their attention.



Sam Medina is an American writer from New Jersey. He is the creator of the popular award-winning webcomic series Jake the Evil Hare, and Darkfell: The Fetters of Wizardry. He received his BA from Princeton, and afterward served in the United States Marine Corps before going on to work as a stockbroker for a number of years, after which he founded started a wireless ISP company, and then opened a consulting firm which he operated until 2009, when he went began writing full-time with Jake the Evil Hare.

http://darkfell.com/
www.jaketheevilhare.com
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Tips For Writing a Novel

If you are anything like me, you listen to writers that you think have become successful in your definition of success. You take in every single word they say.

Over the past few years I have put my ear to the grind stone and have really tried to make my writing career just that. . .A CAREER.

The authors that I consider successful have a few tips in common, a few tips that they continue to say over and over when I hear them speak.

1) Write What You Want:

With the freedom to write the story you feel in your heart, you will be able to connect with the story, characters, and the plot.

With the wonderful world of self-publishing, we have defined our own success. We have blazed a way that has made us unique to our own worlds and words.

You have to freedom to spin the details as you want to. You have the wonderful advantage to fit your story into what ever genre you want to fit it into. That's amazing!

2) Write Every Single Day!

Butt in chair, hands on keyboard!! I don't know who came up with that statement, but it rings true every single time. There is no way you can produce a novel without the words. You can't publish a blank book, well. . .I guess you could, but they'd find you! They'd stone you! (Okay so they won't stone you, but you get the picture!)

3) Turn Off Your Inner Editor!

Give yourself permission to just write without the hassle of going back to edit your work. You have to go back and edit later, so wait! Get those words out of you head and on the paper.

If you stop to go back and edit, it ends up disrupting your flow of writing and you can't get back into the groove of things.

4) Be Inspired!

Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.
― Roald Dahl

Guys might roll their eyes at this, but there is something to be said about the perfect quote or image to help spark that great scene or plot point to continue with your manuscript.

For every novel I write, I keep a journal. I put the date in the front and begin to collect items, as I go along, that remind me of the idea. I let an idea/plot stew in my head for a few months before I even begin writing it. This is generally because I'm already deep in another novel.

Collecting these little tid-bits keeps me excited about the upcoming manuscript/novel, and when I am ready to sit down and start the new novel, I have all I need at my finger tips.

It might be as simple as finding a fence with an amazing background. I can plan an entire chapter around my character hanging out by that fence, along with describing the fence and background. Or even just the vivid colors are enough to spark my juices.

5) Read, Read, Read!!

I know you are so tired of hearing everyone telling you to read. Don't take it from me, take it from the MASTER!! Watch the video below!!!!




Share any tips that you may have for writers about writing and leave it in the comments! Until then. . .keep WRITING!

Go AWAY Summer! I Need To Write!

GO AWAY SUMMER!!

Summer is coming to a close for my kids and I CAN'T BE MORE HAPPY!! Not really happy that I won't be seeing my kids all day, but HAPPY that I'm going to get my writing time back!!

Summer break isn't writer friendly. I know I preach about 'HOW BAD DO YOU WANT SUCCESS," and taking every single free minute to get your writing done. I do that! But it leaves me frazzled nonetheless.

(This was me yesterday in Cincinnati traffic.....stand still! So I edited!!)

But this still doesn't relieve the stress that we all feel when we are being pulled in a million directions when it comes to our families. Not to mention the stress we put on ourselves to put out the next book.

We make our own publishing schedule. Here is the next FIVE months of mine:

August: Release of A CHARMING CURE (second book in the Magical Cures Series)

September: Release of Color Me A Crime (second book in the Olivia Davis Mysteries)

October: Begin the third book in the Magical Cures Series

November: Nanwrimo the novel, POSTCARDS FROM PARIS

December: Release of A SUPERSTITIOUS WEDDING (Grandberry Falls Christmas Ever After short story)

**I'm not even including my novel with agent!**

Umm....

I'm fried!! I'm fried because I'm NO WHERE near my production schedule and I'm a little stressed. Life is going to slow down, way down, in a week. My guys will be going back to school, and I will get back to my writing schedule, along with fixing up my environment.

If you are anything like me, you also need a good MOJO writing environment. Here are some great tips to help get your environment in the grove of writing to help you hit your production schedule.

1) LOCATION

You need to find a great place that helps recharge your creativity and maximum focus on your novel. It could be as simple as your bedroom, coffee shop, library, van (Yes! I use to write in my van!), wherever....just figure that location out and get to work.

This summer I redid my office! Not only do I have doors (yes, I didn't have doors before), I have a new desk and a chalk board wall!! I'm very excited to sit down in my office, not worry about taking kids here and there (which I do love being with my guys), and enjoying my muse talk to me while I start hitting my production schedule.

2) UTENSILS

Now that you have your location, what do you need to help you be productive? 

Laptop? Pen/paper? Research information? Coffee? Chocolate? Candy? Stuffed animal cat?  Red Hots? (ummm....)

We all have our quirky items that we HAVE to have when we are writing. These little comforts make us happy and let our creative juice flow. 

3) Time

Do you have a time of day that you are more productive than others? My prime-time is from 10am-2pm. After 2pm, I'm usually ready for a little nap and some reality TV:) And before 10am, I'm generally doing all of my marketing and promoting. 

So figure out your writing time of the day and get to it!

Does summer throw you off? Do you have a production schedule you stick to?

Breaking Writing Rules and RULING the WORLD!

Have you heard:
1) You can't write that.
2) That will never sell.
3) What genre does that fit into?
4) It's not a paranormal, no one will buy it!
5) Chick-lit is DEAD!

Alright! Put your hands down. We all have. But have we all listened?

HELL NO! We are writers and most of us here are self-published because we heard that our work is good, but has been rejected in one way or another. I had heard for many years "chick lit is dead" or "don't tell them it's chick lit. Call it women's fiction."

Hmmm....

I would call that a BIG OLE LIE!!! And that is ONE thing I DO NOT DO!

Sometimes we have to go beyond the fear of what others think  and write what we want to write. Why are we listening to people industry "professionals" that have NO CLUE what readers want? Have you ever had a gut feeling to write something and you thought that you couldn't because it doesn't fit the industry model?

Most of you know me as a mystery writer, but truth be told, I'm a chick-lit writer! YES! I just admitted that I'm a CHICK-LIT WRITER!!

My first novel, Carpe Bead 'em, was written as a chick-lit. I told everyone and anyone who would listen that I was writing a chick-lit novel. To my surprise, I heard chick-lit was DEAD. Not just dead, but road kill that had been ran over so many times that no one recognized what it was and vomited at the sight of it.

I decided that I wasn't going to listen to them. I was going to blaze my own path and write the best damn chick-lit novel I could. And guess what? I did!

Carpe Bead 'em ended up going to the TOP! It made Amazon's Movers and Shakers list #1 and stayed there for three days, it is on three best seller lists, as well as made it in the top 100 Amazon paid list.

Look at the cover...come on! It screams chick-lit. It has a pink poodle, high-heeled shoes, and jewelry ~ for crying out loud! What if I had listened to them? What if I didn't break the "rule?"

I knew there was an audience for my chick-lit out there. So I got in touch with writer pal, Jessica Park (through my friend and writer pal Heather Webber) and used her editor and got some ideas from her. It was priceless. She truly payed it forward to me.

So I YELL: it's time to beat the fear!

Listen to your gut. Write outside that genre guidelines. Make up your own genre. As a matter of fact, I write the BEST chick-lit cozy mysteries and they sell! Go figure....

Another way to write fearless is twist your plot even more. Just when your reader think they have figured out your plot, step up your game by putting an extra twist in it. This may sound crazy, but your readers will love you for this. They will be hooked and think "Wow! I've never seen an author do that and it's GREAT!"

What if Jessica Park had listened to the naysayers? If you haven't read her inspiring LOVE LETTER TO AMAZON, READ IT! She wrote past the fear of not fitting in the genre rules and her novel FLAT OUT LOVE is ruling Amazon! As a matter of fact, she has been picked up for one of their imprints and they featured Flat Out Love on the front page of Amazon!

It can happen to you! Write what you want and forget the fear of what you hear and RULE THE WORLD!!

Tips To Strengthen Your Writing

Everyday, well~I hope everyday, that you get out of bed and decide to put your best foot forward in your writing. Or if you have somewhere to go (like me~the day job), you get up, get showered, dressed, do your hair, eat, go to the day job, and perform what you were hired to do.

Right?

Why do I get up every morning and do this?
1) I feel better about myself when I'm cleaned up.
2) I have more confidence when I look better.
3) Perception is everything and if I went to my day job in my pajamas, I'm sure they wouldn't take me seriously.

But underneath the exterior of any job, especially writing, we have a bit of weakness. We do put cover-up on that zit, avoid talking about mistakes we made, wear clothes that are more flattering, or even use products to cover up a thinning hair line.

(LOVE Will Write For Chocolate Inky girl strips!!)

Writing is an all different story. It's very hard to cover up a weakness in your writing. It's hard to read those bad reviews, or get a rejection letter from an editor/agent. If you are self-published, we have a hard time when your editor tells you about a plot point that needs to be fixed.

There are ways to be able to look at your baby (book) objectively, and it takes months, even years to get there. And once you realize you are at this stage of the writing game, you are ready to learn and take your writing to a new level.

Your ATTITUDE is the first emotion you need to conquer before you can accept your weakness. Every writer has a dark moment when we just sit and stare, wondering if we are ever going to have that great novel that everyone wants to read. Our writing mojo is often broken at this point. Some will stop forever, while others will plug away.

Until your ATTITUDE is acceptance that you need to ask for HELP, your weakness will not get stronger.

There is nothing wrong with asking for HELP! There are so many other authors/writers out there that are willing to HELP you, but you have to take it upon yourself to find that help. Be open to that help.

A great way to do that is a critique group. There are several on-line, or check out a local writer's group. You are going to have to do some digging, but the outcome is wonderful. Not only will you get other people's opinion, other than your mom's, you are going to get honest feedback. Feedback that will help you learn some of the mistakes that are contributing to your weakness, which will help your writing get stronger once your recognize it.

Or just a critique partner. It can be someone you met on-line at a blog or on-line group. Below I have listed some on-line critique groups that will HELP you get started! So no excuses!

Use the internet as a RESOURCE! Resources are going to help you focus on a particular weakness. I admit, I still take writing classes. I work on my craft every single day. Even though I teach workshop, I know there are many more things that I DON'T KNOW, and I take those classes to work on my weakness.

Leave the house!! I know you have all taken my PR PERSONALITY TEST, if you haven't~ GO TAKE IT!! Go visit writer's groups, conferences for writers, visit places that feed your muse, go see a movie ( I love going to see movies because it helps my creative juices flow), give yourself a treat to get your spirits up.

Write what you have learned! Be aware of your weakness and cognitively work on it as you are writing. Take pride in your writing when you realize that you are catching your weakness in your writing. 

At the end of the day, NO ONE writes a perfect book. I don't care if you are Stephen King (who writes 10 pages a day, even on holidays), or Truman Capote (who wrote lying down in bed or sitting on a couch with a cigarette and cup of coffee in hand. As the day went on, the coffee gave way to tea, then sherry, then martinis.). All writers have a weakness and it's up to you to help yourself.

Check out these on-line CRITIQUE GROUPS:
The Critique Circle (free)
The Absolute Writer
Agent Query's Critique Partner Wanted Forum
Ladies Who Critique

Check out Savvy Author, where I teach, for GREAT options for on-line workshops!

Agent or not, the writer stays the same

A few months ago I announced that I accepted representation with an agency to represent my entire career in my I'm A Hybrid blog.

Why would a successful self-published author sign with an agent? Easy...
1) It's part of my dream to see my book in Target, Walmart, any book store.
2) It has nothing to do with money. . .obviously.
3) I can still self-publish.
4) Self-published authors have so many options now.
5) It's still my DREAM!

Well. . .I've learned a lot over the past few months. I gave my agent my straight cozy mystery series, The Divorced Divas, Strung Out To Die novel to shop around.

But that didn't stop me. I didn't rest on my laurels and drum my fingers until I heard who she submitted to, I wrote another book, A Charming Crime and started the second Olivia Davis Paranormal Mystery Novel. I didn't pay attention to The Divorced Divas series because I had committed to that series as my debut traditional series.

I heard from my agent that they decided they weren't going to represent PARANORMAL STUFF, but straight cozies, inspirational, and women's fiction.

Hmm....I was in a pickle.

I had a decision to make. It is my career! The Divorced Divas is a straight cozy and I write women's fiction, but a major part of my career is my cozy mysteries with paranormal elements. I wasn't upset or mad. I still really like my agent, but I had options. That is something writers didn't have a few years ago.

1) I can stay with the agent and traditional publish my straight cozies and women's fiction. Self-publish my paranormal novels.

OR

2) Tell the agent thank you, but I'm going to step away and look for another agent who will represent everything I write. AND continue to self-publish.

If you noticed, both of those include self-publish. HOW GREAT IS THAT????? This is why I wasn't upset or angry. My career is and will always be in MY hands and choices are there that weren't a few years ago.

My decision. . .I walked away.

Some writers shudder at the thought of getting an agent and then even think about letting them go. But I wasn't going to settle. I've been writing too long and had too much success to settle for second best.  I know I'm going to continue to be a successful self-published author. I will continue to live the true life that I set out to live with or without an agent. And it is so reassuring to know that I did the right thing.

What I learned out of this...I have a clear vision of MY career. I value my work. I value myself. AND I won't settle. Embrace the options that we have because those options weren't here a few years ago.

I'm still on target to self-publish the four novels and two short stories this year. SPLITSVILLE.COM is contracted and in the hands of a producer to make it into an audio book. Plus I started my STREET TEAM.  AND still on the agent hunt. I didn't let grass grow under my feet! Strung Out To Die is in the hands of four agents and I'm still going to pursue my dream of filling the traditional route.

Would you be able to walk away from an agent?
I'm giving away a copy of THE TRICKED OUT TOOLBOX to one lucky commenter. Check back to see if you won! You have one week to claim your prize.

Creative Flow, Scene by Scene!

I love when I hear a writer say, "I write when inspiration hits me."

BLAH! That is what I hear from those writers. . . . . .

As a writer, among other duties, I don't have that luxury to write when it HITS ME! And most professional writers don't have that kind of time either.

I'm not saying my muse doesn't strike at crazy times, it does, but my muse also doesn't show up when I need it to. And those are the times that I'm talking about. That is about 90% of my writing time.

Wouldn't it be great if every time you sat down to write, your creativity just flowed over?

Over the past couple years I have come up with a few tips and tricks on how to maintain the creative flow when you sit down to write every single book.

1) Ideas. I'm always trying to come up with ideas for new books. I've said that I carry my journal every where I go. It's a journal of ideas and they are all gathered in one place. Easy to find. Some writers use journals to jot down ideas, sayings, notes etc. . .and never use the journal for the intended purpose. So don't go out and buy a journal to to write things down because you will have a whole collection of journals without having written a novel.

Generally one or two ideas will catch your fancy. And if you are like me, you begin to process those ideas. "If this happened, then what would happen if that happened?" These questions begin to form your idea into a scene in your story.

2) Collect information. Ideas turn into concrete research which leads to more creativity and more ideas. All the information that you collect will start to fit together. The information will help you see relationships between your characters, places they need to go, and help you understand where your idea is taking you.

3) Sift! This is the fun part where you get to go through all the ideas and information you have collected and begin to see the concrete evidence you need for the bare bones of your scene in your novel. The more and more you go through your information, the more you are going to have that scene formed in your head.

4) Coffee stage. This is the stage where all the information from point 1-3 hang out in our head for a while and begin to percolate. If you don't like coffee, it can be likened to a crock pot. The ideas that you have need to bubble over. This happens to me at the oddest times, like shower, taking my dogs for a walk, sitting in church. You will have those eureka moments...just let it come to you. Let it percolate!

5) Flow baby flow. Your scene should be flowing at this point. Embrace it! Your ideas should be appearing out of no where and it will hit you at all hours in the day, and this includes 2 AM! This is the fun part!

6) Share! You have something to share with your critique partner/group. Get feedback. Get their opinion and ideas from what you have done so far. A lot of times they can help your creative juices flow more with their input.

Just last week I was meeting with my critique group, when one of my partners asked me a question about the mystery. I hadn't thought of that little tweak, but what she suggested was GREAT and was easy to incorporate into my scene. It gave me a little excitement, stirring the creative pot, causing me to write another 2k words!

7) Start over. Yes, you have to start these steps all over again. Scene after scene.

Ultimately it's up to you to write the novel. It's up to you to take your ideas and shape them into your vision, your voice, and get it to your readers.

The "F" Word And How to Use It While Writing

Did that title catch your attention?

Did I mislead you? Maybe. Because I'm talking the big 'F' word , FAILURE!
And I want to talk to you about how we can use failure in our FAVOR! Then we can talk about a new 'F' word, FAVOR!
I have to admit that I get a lot of mail from writers about the ups and downs of writing, mainly their failures. They want to know how I did it. Trust me, there were a lot of FAILURES and I still have them. But I turn them around and use them in my FAVOR!

If you follow me on Facebook (and I hope you do), you know that I post a lot of inspiration quotes and motivation quotes. There are two reasons I do this.

1) There is so much negative energy in the world that if I can touch one person or change one person's attitude for that day, it was worth it.
2) I post quotes everywhere. They make me feel good. I even sharpie marker them on my laptop.

Yes! I'm one of those happy people. I never return an email that doesn't have something positive to say. Yes! I've said the typical answers that you have heard from others when you have told someone that you have failed:

"Look how far you have come."
"Pay it forward to others authors."
"Give gratitude."
"There is always a reason this is happening to you."

But what about those BIGGIE FAILURES?

The last thing you want to hear is that it happens for a reason, or you need to look at the glass half full. Even I get a little discouraged with the biggies. And by biggies, I mean rejection letters from agents/editors, when you self publish your novel and only five people buy it....those are BIGGIES that aren't taken lightly.

These BIGGIES are the ones that fester inside us, looks like there is no end in sight, not a bruise but the one that becomes infected and stifles our creative limb that you think you need to amputate.
NO DON'T AMPUTATE WRITING FROM YOUR LIFE!!

This is the time that those sweet quotes don't work. The kind words don't make us feel better, and even moral support isn't enough to pull us out of the muck!

Sometimes we just have to get out the white flag and surrender. Yes! Surrender.
Surrending is NOT failing. It is realizing that something didn't go the way we wanted it to, even though we did do our best. It's time we realize that some things are just out of our control. AND this was one of those times.

Of course it didn't turn out the way we wanted it to. So we worry about it. We think about all the possibilities like timing, or what happened. These things are out of our control. Wave the white flag.

BUT we can control how we react to FAILURE! And how we handle ourselves.

1) Go ahead, punch a pillow, scream out loud in an empty house, cry, and remember to laugh.
2) Decide who you want to share your failure with. They have had failure too. Don't fall into people saying "people are going through something worse than you." NO! This is your worst and you need someone who is going to listen.
3) Heal. Don't pull up your boot straps and put on your big girl panties/big boy underwear. You have had a major setback that is important to you. You need time to heal. Don't swallow your pride. Pride can be evil and you don't fall into it. It's time to be vulnerable and honest with yourself. Doing so will give you the steps you need to grow in your career. Facing it gives you the opportunity to face your fears.
4) During the healing process, remember to take care of yourself and do the things you love to do. If it's going to DQ and getting an ice cream. . . do it! If it means buying a new tool, do it. Going to the spa. . .DO IT!
5) Stop trying to impress the authors that you think is doing better than you. They have their issues too, but they approach them differently. You are unique. There are NO two writers alike AND that includes you!

At the end of the day, we can not control the publishing industry. We can only control us and how we react to the situation that is handed to us. We can not determine the outcome of anything in this industry. If we could, we'd all be on the New York Times Best Sellers list! All I ask is to do your best and when your world falls apart, and someone tells you to "work harder". . .ignore them! You decide how you treat yourself at the end of the day. I hope you chose respect, love, and compassion. No one is going to take care of you better than you!

Have you let the "F" word define who you are?

Writing Through Emotional Baggage

You just had a fight with your kids. . .
You don't spend enough time with your family. . .
You had a fight with your spouse. . .
You  got a disconnect notice in your mail box. . .
You're going through a divorce. . .
Someone close to you is ill. . .
Your ex-wife is a fruit loop. . .
Your husband cheated on you. . .

There is so much emotional baggage in your life that when you sit down to write, your energy is zapped.
Not only does that suck the life out of you, but you also have to worry about social networking, building a brand, finding our voice, find time for writing, blog, marketing, promoting, etc. . .

Sound familiar?

This was a hard thing for me to do when I first began my journey to publication. I was having a hard time getting the emotional baggage out of my head to even start my computer, never mind all the new stuff (like how to create a character, scene, setting, and everything else that is new to a newbie)  I had to worry about learning.

Emotional baggage is in our head, just like our novels. Writing is probably the hardest emotional job out there. We need to figure out how to work through it.

We all do things differently and that is what makes being a writer amazing, but we can all give each other tips that has helped get us over the emotional baggage speed bump to get our career on track.

1) Writing is a career. Just like any other career, writing is a CAREER. It's not you. You have to treat your writing as you would a job that is outside your house. Many of us have a day job. I am one of them. But I still have to get up, get dressed, go to work, come home, make dinner, get my teenage boys to their sporting events, take the dogs for a walk, do laundry. I can do all of these activities without even thinking about it and still deal with all the emotional baggage in my life.

You have to treat your writing career in this same manner. You have to filter your thought process in order to dig down deep to get your story out of your head and on the page.

2) Discipline. Again, just like you would go to a day job, you have to treat your writing career the same. Once you establish a routine with discipline of sitting down and training your brain to write, you will find your emotional baggage will disappear for the time that you will be focused on your writing for that day. The more disciplined you are, the more writing you will get finished.

3) Keep a writer's to-do list. I make a to-do list at the beginning of each week. I keep it handy next to my computer and check it off as I go along. I stay focused on what I need/have to accomplish and it motivates me to put aside the emotional baggage to get it completed. This will not only help you see what you get done, but you will be able to see some progress to what you are getting complete. There is nothing more rewarding than being able to work through that list. It also makes you feel better, which helps your emotional state.

4) Set some boundaries. This is very difficult for writers with families. My office didn't have doors on either side of the room and my boys would come in and hang out or ask me a million questions when their dad is right in the next room. It's very difficult for me to say, "go ask dad" or "I'm writing. Give me a couple of minutes." I'm a mom! I want to be there for every waking minute of my boys lives. Especially during the summer months are a big emotional baggage for me.

Setting boundaries are so hard for me when it comes to my boys, but I knew I had to do it to do my JOB! Recently I had my husband redo my office and put doors in! Not only has it drowned out the noise in my house that three teenage boys plus their friends can make, but they have given me the peace that I need to get my JOB done. Instead of working all day and night to get my words on the page, I'm getting all my writing done before I have to cook dinner and the rest of the night is dedicated to my family.

5) Location/Tools. I've talked about this before and I really do believe it helps. Like I stated earlier, I have three teenage boys who do a lot of sports, which means a lot of practices. Luckily we are in several car pools, but on my days I'm able to relax in my family van, lay back the seats, and with NO internet I can crank out 2k words in two hours. (I didn't say they were great words, but they are on the page to edit!)

Just Monday, I was at my son's lacrosse practice. . .

Changing your location can bring you out of the emotional baggage situation by changing your view. You would be surprised how great this works.

What about the tools you use to write? I switch back and forth from my lap top to long-hand in a journal. I buy a journal for each book. It's not just any old journal. It's a journal that speaks to me (and you know what I mean) when I'm at the store. I also use a certain type of mechanical pencil. All of these help my state of mind. It helps me focus on what I need to get done with my job. . .leaving the emotional baggage in the back ground for me to worry about later.

And. . .

if none of this helps or you don't have a solution to help, you really might need some deeper psychological help from a true professional.
Remember. . .you are a writer. . .let the words flow!

How do you check your emotional baggage at your writer door?
If you follow my blog and like my post, PLEASE follow my on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/authortonyakappes

Personal or Public. . .Which Facebook Page Should You Have?

If I had to do it all over. . .

would I have made my Facebook page a Fan Page?

I joined Facebook in 2008. At that time you could have a personal page or a fan page. I was starting out on the publication journey, for real this time, and decided to check out this new Facebook gig. 

Little did I know what I was in store for. 

Fast forward to today and the fan page is loooooong gone. 

Here is Facebook’s response to why they changed the verbiage: 

Why did "Become a Fan" change to "Like"?

To improve your experience and promote consistency across the site, we've changed the language for Pages from "Fan" to "Like." We believe this change offers you a more light-weight and standard way to connect with people, things and topics in which you are interested.

I'm not a big FAN of calling my readers FANS....that is a whole different issue that we will discuss later, but before now my choices were personal Facebook page or Fan Facebook page. Now my choices are personal page or a like page or both. 

I posted a question on my only Facebook page about switching over. Author H.P. Mallory was gracious enough to give me a little advice, and I took it. She suggested NOT to get rid of the personal page because you risk losing a lot of followers. I decided to have two pages, one personal and one like. . .little secret. . .they are both for my readers and friends. 

Why? Why would I want to rock the boat and add another page for people to follow? 

Simple! Maybe not that simple. I sat down and made a list of why I wanted to have a like page. And I thought you'd benefit from these questions too:

1) How many friends do you have on Facebook?

2) Would those friends move over to a like page?

3) A friend page is limited to 5,000.

4) A like page is unlimited.

5) What type of privacy do you want?

6) Is you personal page really personal and not something you'd share with the world of Facebook or readers?

7) Are you building an author brand and what type of personality do you want to give?

8) Are you trying to make friends or sell books?

These were questions that I asked myself. I decided to have a Facebook account to get my name out there. The person that I am on Facebook is the exact person I am. I quote inspirational quotes to my friends and family so I share them on Facebook. I take care of the people I love and don't bother with the people who are negative, just like I do with jealous writers or negative writers. There is nothing on my personal Facebook page that I wouldn't share with author Facebook page. 

The biggest reason I decided to go with a like page is the limited number of friends I can have on my personal page. Either way. . .both pages will have the same updates, pictures, and quotes! 

So come on! LIKE me!! Tonya Kappes, Author

Do you have a Facebook? Let's swap likes!

Your Way Is The Write Way

We are all so busy trying to figure out what the magic formula is to writing success. We scour the Internet looking for the writing tips that are going to propel us into the writing success stratosphere.

As soon as we hear about a new writer that scored that big deal, new agent, bestsellers list, indie break through, indie that signed a big publishing deal, we try to figure out everything that person did to get that success.

I teach a lot of writers workshops. While I'm getting ready for my big ole presentation that they are all there to hear, they chat among themselves. Of course I'm listening as I'm setting up. There seemed to be a pattern of what they are discussing. . .

"A real writer plots out the novel from beginning to end."
"A real writer doesn't plot. She lets her characters talk to her."
"A real writer creates a character worksheet for all of her characters."
"A real writer never creates a character worksheet. She knows her characters."
"A real writer pampers her muse."
"A real writer collages her novel for inspiration."
"A real writer spends a lot of hours marketing and promoting."
"A real writer writes for hours and hours every day."
"A real writer 5k words a day and doesn't move until they are done."
"A real writer never lets anything get in her way."

Wow! SUPER WOW! It really hit me that we are spending so much of our time trying to figure out what is the right way to write.

We are all different. We have all made success in our own way. Some of us have a writing process, some of us plot, some of us pants, some of us market more than others, some of us blog, some of us have a word limit a day, etc. . .BUT is any of this the right way?

NO!

What ever feels good to you is the right way! We are so busy trying to figure out what we should be doing instead staying focused on what made us love what we do. We WRITE.

If it takes you a month to write a novel~AMAZING!
If it takes you a year to write a novel~AMAZING!
If you can write 500 words a day~AMAZING!
If you jot down a thought, that could be the idea of your next novel.
If you write one sentence, that could be the best sentence in your entire novel.

There is no wrong or right way to write. You are the author. You are the one who is going to make your dreams come true. Don't get discouraged when you hear that a writer on Facebook wrote 3k words that day. We all have lives that ebb and flow. You have some really bad writing days and some really good writing days. But they are YOUR writing days.

Your way is the write way!

Hands In the Air~You Are On The Writing Roller Coaster!

Take a good looooong look at this roller coaster!

There are some ups and downs not to mention a few turns. WOW! Doesn't that sound a lot like writing? The emotions of up and down, not to mention those unexpected turns. Everyone of us go through it.

Some of us hang on and smile and some of us hang on and cry. Either way, there isn't an option to get off. We are WRITERS! We love WRITING! But how we handle the ride can make all the difference in the world.

This was probably the hardest part of writing for me. I NEVER once wanted to quit or give up. But I do get stressed out and that is no fun to me or anyone around me.

Here are a few of my tips and tricks:

1) Take a break. Not a long break, but a fifteen minute break if you get stressed when writing. Lay down and try to concentrate on your breathing. This will help get oxygen to your brain and your stress should begin to lessen and help you refocus.

If your writing career is what is making you ride the roller coaster, take a couple days  and walk away from the novel. Read, walk, be with yourself, do something with your kids, finger paint, meditate, anything creative will encourage your mind to open up. Check out these great tips to help unleash your inner creative kid.

2) Long hand. Don't shoot me! I mean with a pen and paper, old school. Many times throughout the day, I have a hard time starting a new chapter. I grab my pen and journal ( I keep a journal for each book) and I start writing. This really does open up my creativity and get my characters talking to me again.

(I never said I was a neat writer.)

3) Egg timer. And I don't mean make something to eat. Use this handy on line timer at E.gg Timer.

Sometimes we put unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Or we set a goal that is entirely too high, but at the time it sounds doable. Get a timer and set it for five minutes.

For five minutes you are committed to doing nothing but writing. The writing can be good or bad, but just write on your story for five minutes. Don't edit. Just write. Do what you love.

Once you are comfortable with the five minutes increase to eight or ten. You are teaching your brain to focus on a chunk of time devoted to writing. No Facebook. No Twitter. No nothing but writing. You will be surprised how many words you can write in under ten minutes.

4) Do your own thing! I'm just giving you suggestions that have helped me. But maybe you do something else. Sometimes I jump up and take my dogs on a twenty minute walk. Especially when it's sunny out and I want to be in it!

Fifteen to twenty minutes is what I have found that I need to regenerate me and my creative juices to help me hold on to the roller coaster and smile.

Me, I never get off the roller coaster. Some days the roller coaster has more twists and turns, but I know that I'm never giving up. I'm going to hold on and smile the entire ride.

What do you do to help this roller coaster life we've chosen?

No! Don't Quit! Finish That Novel!

Recently, I've discovered Craig's List. Yes! I absolutely LOVE it. I sold my corner desk within fifteen minutes of posting it, and then found my new desk in less than that!

The week following, I sold a few more things. I told my family that they better watch out, I just might put them on there. (Of course I'd never do that! I have to have them around so I can cart them to sporting events and get more writing finished!)

Anyways, I thought it would be fun to check out any potential writing jobs....and what I found BROKE MY HEART!

There was an ad from a writer who was seeking another writer for help with her manuscript.

Immediately, I typed out an email that begged her to join my local writer's group, take more classes, give her all my contacts, but I continued to hit the delete button. None of those things were going to help unless she was ready for it.

When I started out, I did everything I could to better my craft. And in today's age, it's so much easier to do than it was even five years ago with the internet readily at your finger tips.

No matter what your PR Personality (take the PR Personality quiz here), whether you are an introvert or extrovert, you can finish that novel!

Here are some tips to get you to the finish line:

1) DISCIPLINE
Writing is no different than waking up and going to a day job (which most of us do anyways) or even doing an exercise regimen on a daily basis. Many times I look at my dog's round black eyes when I know that if I don't take him for a walk, he will poop in the house when I'm sleeping.

2) VISUALIZE
There is nothing more powerful than your imagination. You have stories up in that noggin' of yours that is wanting to come out. You need to visualize yourself writing THE END, and then plastering it all over Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus, AND your blog!

3) REREAD
I divide my novels up in three sections so I won't have issues ending my novel. I have a general idea on the length of my novel and I divide that by three. When I hit the word count for the first third, I go back and reread what I have written so far. It never fails that ideas that I had forgotten about, or didn't write down, tend to come flooding back. It also lets me begin to beef up the novel. It's like I edit in thirds.

4) VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
Yes! I mean your characters! Sometimes your character is going to fight you tooth and nail because she doesn't want to be a shoe salesman at the Saks Fifth Avenue. She wants to be the Foreman running the job in expanding the Saks Fifth Avenue. This will stick you every time! You have to listen to those characters and let them take you on their journey.

5) STEP AWAY
Don't roll your eyes! I'm not telling you to step away for a length of time, but maybe you need a fresh perspective. Take a couple of days and walk away from your novel. Read some of your TBR pile and read, read, read, read.

Try it! I guarantee that if you only do a couple of these suggested five items, it will help get you to THE END!

Do you have any tips or tricks if you get stuck? I love hearing from you!!